I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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