just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just blew my weed a kiss
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
