In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
