I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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