This girl is more easily done than said...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
