Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
