it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
