He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
