Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
