I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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