Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
