Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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