somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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