I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Randomize
