Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
