Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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