He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
