Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I need to calm my uterus...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
