I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
