can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
