She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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