Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
