didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
