It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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