Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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