i don't like sucking hair
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
