i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
