After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
