I hate all girls vehemently.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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