I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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