You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He shit in the fireplace
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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