adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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