I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
