i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Last time i carry you out of a forest
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
