STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He better not be in your backpack
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize
