Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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