the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
