garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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