what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We're too hungover to prance.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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