forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
