I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
