Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
