Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
