So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
