for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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