So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
