so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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