I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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