I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
