So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
