I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
